Heart-centered, creative entrepreneurs are needed today more than ever. However, the current atmosphere of oppressive judgment and criticism leads to self-judgment and self-criticism that silences us. That’s why Willo Sana and I are talking about what you need to do BEFORE you can show up powerfully & compassionately for others.
Heart-centered, creative entrepreneurs are needed today more than ever. However, the current atmosphere of oppressive judgment and criticism leads to self-judgment and self-criticism that silences us. That’s why Willo Sana and I are talking about what you need to do BEFORE you can show up powerfully & compassionately for others.
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TRANSCRIPT
78: WILLO SANA What you need to do before you can show up powerfully compassionately for others
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[00:00:00]
[00:00:00] Trina:
[00:00:56] Intro
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[00:00:56] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my [00:01:00] last episode, I spoke again with Vince Warnock, an award-winning business and marketing strategist, coach author. And host of the chasing the insights podcast. We talked about the entrepreneur's brain's way of saying that you are exactly where you need to be. If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
But don't go yet. Folks. My next guest is Willow Sana. Willow has been a self-employed creative for over 20 years. She's a sought after business coach who empowers visionary entrepreneurs with heart-centered action. And We'll be talking about what you need to do before you can show up powerfully and compassionately for others.
Join me in welcoming, Willow Sana.
[00:01:41] Willo's Interview
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[00:01:41] Trina: Willow. Thank you so much for joining me again. We had such an amazing conversation last time, and I'm just thrilled that you're back and I'm ready to dig in. Again, there was so much gold in that last conversation.
[00:01:56] Willo: Yeah, me too. I mean, if you, and I could probably talk all [00:02:00] day, but I'm really, really excited to help expand upon that.
Anyone who really got some big sparks and things lit up for them, or they were curious, we are going to dive into it and give some juicy details, right now..
[00:02:12] Trina: Yeah, so, and listeners, one of the things that we talked about last time was canceled culture, the which wound and how it's more important than ever to source within and to speak our truth.
And I'd love to jump in and talk about cancel culture first because cancel culture, it, we see it a lot in politics, but when we look in to the business world, We see entrepreneurs really creative. Heart-centered. Entrepreneurs who are sharing of themselves. I mean, they wouldn't be doing that.
I mean, being an entrepreneur is not the easiest job. There are easier ways to make money, but these entrepreneurs, if they're anything like you, if they're anything like me, they're here to make an impact. And, and this is the only [00:03:00] way that they can see to make the kind of impact that they desire. And so I know from those that I know.
You'll have to tell me if it's the same for you, which I'm pretty sure it is that they're passionate about what they do. They believe in what they do and they're sharing from their heart and they're sharing their truth. And when they go online and it's sad to say that, that there are some out there, who poop on their parade?
Who, who criticized, who cut them down, who try to cancel them because they're not perhaps maybe mainstream or they speak about something that the person who's commenting doesn't understand. How do you see that happening in the [00:04:00] world of social media?
[00:04:03] Willo: Yeah, well, in particular, you hit the nail on the head because one of the things I want to presence here, that's at the root of.
Cancel culture is ultimately judgment. And so often, Brené Brown has that beautiful quote about how, essentially something about being in the arena. Right. And how so often there's people that are, throwing the stones and casting the judgment, but they're not even in the area.
Yeah. I'm no expert on cancel culture, but it is. I always really presents it as, because the thing is, this is that if you are watching and you are watching, possibly leader people, you know, who have been taken down specially, I mean, we've seen this so much as we've, black lives matter.
That's come around. Really being aware of racism amongst, and just the entire thing we've seen with race and really [00:05:00] acknowledging privilege as a white woman. And so lots of white coach, white women coaches have been torn down in the last year or two. Of course white men, me too movement. Right?
It's just, it's across the board. That there's a lot of this. So as we're seeing it, we cannot unsee it. Right. And these little things are living not only in our nervous system, but also in truly our DNA and our ancestry from a long, long time. That's where we linked it to the witch wound. So the one piece I want to presence here is recognizing how often judgment.
Comes from this, like, or cancel culture comes from judgment it's it was absolutely. I think I there's a, a core value that is being triggered for people when they are wanting to stand up for what's. Right. And I get that. I totally get that. And there's a point we've seen where it has gone to.[00:06:00]
Style. And so it's just presencing that even if you're just witnessing it and you are like, you only have a couple of hundred followers on Instagram, or you're just starting your little tiny baby business. These are the things that are all of a sudden making you be like, well, shit, I better not speak up.
I better not actually make waves or that might be me too. And so even though you're mild, Away from that ever happening, you're still being impacted it cause it already, your nervous system is how to, you haven't even gotten to the point of expanding your nervous system to potentially have, I wasn't of followers let alone tens of thousands of followers, but this happens at every level.
There's people also that are at, 10 and 20,000 and they're afraid to go bigger. They're afraid to claim we have many layers, right. That we're peeling off. So, yeah, but just recognizing it, acknowledging that this judgment often is something that I always think about this. When I hear somebody who has a lot of judgment or criticism for others is how much [00:07:00] criticism and judgment they must have for themselves.
[00:07:03] Trina: Yes. You spoke so many powerful things right in there, and I need to unpack some of them. There was so much in there. Okay. So I absolutely love that. You talked about energy, that you talked about judgment because those things go together. When I talk about energy, energy is the ability to do work and work is the ability to create change.
And when you were talking about judgment, judgment limits our view.. It reduces the amount of opportunities we see and the, the opportunities that we can grasp the opportunities are always there right out in front of us offering themselves up to us. But if we can't see them, we can't grab them
[00:07:54] Willo: We're judging other people. Because we [00:08:00] also hold ourselves, we are, we're judging ourselves so harshly and it just spills out. I mean, ultimately, even on some of the work that I do, right, this is the, the villain, the villain wants to point fingers at other people and blame people and make them wrong.
Well, we also have villains that point, our fingers at ourselves. Of what's the matter with you, what's wrong with you. You're not doing this right. You don't know what you're doing. Right. And so there's some element and that's where then we get into this power dynamic, right? Where the ego feels so satisfied by making someone else wrong because that all of a sudden it somehow makes us feel superior or better.
[00:08:43] Trina: Right. Energy is so, interesting in how we judge. Because we can judge at many different levels. And you were just talking about when we judge other people, how are we judging ourselves the same way?[00:09:00]
[00:09:00] Willo: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it just recognizing that ultimately there's, it's almost like, hurt people, hurt people, you know, there's and, and actually even in this, a lot of what we're seeing is as we're shifting our relationship with power and all of this, there's actually elements of which we're raising massive awareness around oppression yeah. So whether it's your voice has been oppressed, you have been oppressed at a, as a race, as a culture, whatever that may be there is oppression. And I think some of the, kinks that we're working out as people are starting to truly like educate themselves on.
all of us are start having to educate ourselves. We're all seeing new things clearer. We're learning as a, literally a human race together in this. But as we work out those kinks, some of the things that happen is oppressed people, oppress people. They [00:10:00] it's genuinely. And again, I'm not saying. It's not okay to stand up for our rights, and to really care about something that you are willing to like fight for it.
Hell Yes.. Right. It's I think I just have such compassion for the individual at the core of it. And in particular, those who by proxy are seeing this and having it be any kind of an invitation or. red flag for you to stay quiet or stay small. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, wait a second. We need you to actually rise up.
So if I can help you find your voice, speak your truth, feel more confident and grounded within yourself so that you can powerfully show. Heck. Yes. Cause then we're all gonna benefit from
that, right?
[00:10:48] Trina: Yes. Yeah. And it's important to understand that people react from where they are from their experience and to have that compassion when it [00:11:00] is obvious that they're hurting in some way that they're angry in some way.
And knowing. That anger, that hurt is not yours. You have your own, you have your own, but how can you have compassion for them? And when you have compassion for yourself, you'd know what it feels like. So it starts with you first.
[00:11:21] Willo: That's exactly right. Yeah. The core of all of my work is just this deep self-acceptance self-compassion because when you have that for yourself, you're then yeah.
You're not running around blaming other people. You're not. You're going around and judging other people or telling them they're wrong or bad, or just going around and telling yourself that you're wrong or you're bad, or you can't figure this out or whatever those things, all of those are limiting. This is, I know you're jam too.
My eyes are all limiting beliefs and that's genuinely at the core. What is driving so much of this, right? What are the thoughts and the beliefs and the feelings that are creating this [00:12:00] entanglement, right. When our purpose here, the other side, and what's possible is being a conscious, clean, clear beacon of truth.
And that usually when you're in your own lane and you're just like, totally here downloading your message. You're recognizing that it's not for everybody. We cannot be everything for everybody. And you're also recognizing it's going to reach the ears and hearts and the lives of those who need it. And that there's plenty of room.
[00:12:32] Trina: There is plenty of room. People can hear things a million times from a million voices, but the moment that they hear it from you, It will click for them. All of a sudden it will be as if they have never heard it before. And especially not in the way that you shared it and you'll sparkle, you'll sparkle in their eyes.
[00:12:58] Willo: And we're not for everybody, there's [00:13:00] so many messengers out there that you, that people don't, they don't like the message, so they won't even listen to it. Right. And that's the thing I always say to all my clients. I'm like, there's a lot of business coaches out there, but you chose to work with me.
There's a resonance. And there's other people that didn't choose to work with me. And they chose to work with somebody that I would never work with, but they chose to work with them. Right. So I'm not here to be something for everybody. Right. I'm not, I'm not for everyone. And that's okay. But those who are right for me, But those reach you and find you, they're like, oh my God, this is exactly what I was looking for.
And that's beautiful. And there's, like I said, plenty of space. In fact, I wanted to connect this back to what you were saying earlier about judgment. Oh, often judgment is coming for and criticism is coming from a place of not enough scarcity, right? So when we can be living in that overflow of love and acceptance for [00:14:00] ourselves, and then others, not to know this is not a Pollyanna, unicorns and puppies, and everything has to be great spiritual bypassing world, but it's genuinely just recognizing.
If we are not so critical of ourselves and others and, and committed to tearing people down, wow, what else could emerge? What else could be possible in our lives? Right.
[00:14:22] Trina: Absolutely.
Absolutely. And I love that you brought up spiritual bypassing. That is one of the things that is one of my pet peeves.
Where everything is sunshine and roses. The coaches blowing sunshine up your butt and everything is easy. If you think it's easy when they're not tying it back to their own experience, when they're not being authentic, things do get to be easy if you allow them to be easy. But at first they're going to feel.
And it's going to take work [00:15:00] to change how you feel, and you have to go in deep and really do that inner work of shifting how you feel, because you can say money comes to me easily. But if inside, if your gut is feeling like, no, it ain't, all I see is lack, but I'm just saying the words then no money is not going to come to you easily.
It's a full mind, body and emotional tie in.
[00:15:29] Willo: Yeah. And it is. Either the only way is through, to really, we have to truly feel it. I always like to say too, that it's, I mean, this is shadow work ultimately, right. Which is that we've got to be willing to face what is not working. And that means even in the limiting beliefs piece, I know you and I both work with it's like we have to first surface and name and see clearly what are the tapes that have been playing?
What are the [00:16:00] scripts that have been playing that are actually. Usually oppressing you, keeping you small, keeping your voice, damped quiet, keeping your light, from, from shining too bright. Right? So when you can actually recognize what are cause you have unique scripts, yours are unique to you.
Mine are unique to me. We might have some overlap in some but it's genuinely, we have to name those first so that we can start consciously. We have to bring them from the subconscious nonconscious to the current. So we can start hearing them. And then we have the opportunity of rewriting those scripts.
[00:16:32] Trina: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. You can't slap a band-aid on a dirty wound. You can't just slap an affirmation on top of these stories that don't serve us. All right. Don't well, at least they don't serve us in the direction that we want to go, that we desire to go in. Everything that we do say believe serves us in some way, I'm not [00:17:00] perhaps pushing the needle in our business, not making us feel better, but keeping us safe.
And so figuring out what those stories are and, and how they're actually serving us. And do we want that to continue? When we can see one side of it, we can choose to do something different. Without being controlled by those subconscious stories.
[00:17:27] Willo: Yeah, that's right. And exactly, that's exactly what it is. Bringing them to the conscious awareness, such that they're no longer unconsciously driving, but instead you then are creating that, that conscious choice because all of those thoughts and those beliefs, which then have you feeling a certain way, they're all, what connects to the actions or behaviors. Or Inaction as it were, that is how you're, you're showing up or not showing up in the world. And so it's, [00:18:00] it's fascinating too. And I often will share it's inspired another inspired from Brené brown where she talks about how unused creativity is, is really almost like manifest as grief in our bodies
yeah. And that that's huge. If you, if any of you out there have had something knocking on your door, a message coming through, if you haven't listened to it yet, it starts really actually, calcifying in your body and starting to feel really tough. And so it's, we have to, I always like to say. Don't overcook, the baby, right?
It's like, you got to birth that baby out into the world. Like it needs to get out. It's not healthy. It literally it's, it's terrifying and scary. And that birthing process. And even though like, what's going to happen after this baby's out in the world, we don't know all we know as we got to get it out, gotta get it out in the world.
Right.
[00:18:56] Trina: Absolutely. I've absolutely had that experience [00:19:00] myself done is better than perfect. And this was back in early 2021. It was like in may. And I said, I was just sitting there innocently. I think I'll do a summit I'll interview. Some people we'll put it on. It'll be awesome. And then that, then it just started growing from there.
I put out the word, say who, who would like to be on the summit. And I got like these amazing, amazing guests, like over 30 interviews about over a dozen masterclasses out of just like 14 days worth of of summit. And I'll tell you. That was amazing, but it never would have happened if I didn't go with my gut and, and that little curious tickle in my brain saying, huh, maybe I'll do a summit
and it was so fun. It was a lot of work, but it was so much fun. And, and this is what [00:20:00] I'd like to pull back to the conversation about choosing the story changing the narrative from. What has been going on something that doesn't serve us in the direction that we want and making the choice to think, believe, act, feel something different.
Once you understand what the choices you can make it. And at first you're going to have to continue to make that choice every day, sometimes a few times a day, because your habit is conditioned. In story and that is your brain is like, well, I know that I know how to do that. Yeah. But it's not working.
So I'm choosing to do this today. I'm choosing to do this right now. I'm choosing to feel calm right now. I'm choosing to feel bold right now. I'm choosing to speak my truth right now. And that might have to be [00:21:00] a multiple times a day. And if it's work, it's work, but it's worthy work. It's worthy work because you, my audience, you Willow, I am, we are worthy of, of making that commitment to ourselves of unreservedly committing. Devoting ourselves to making that decision every day. And it sounds like a lot of work, but after a while, it becomes our second nature.
[00:21:36] Willo: Well, and this is in my program. What I call like commit and recommit. We think sometimes that we just commit once and that's what commitment is, but commitment is a process of recommitment over and over and over again.
It's the choosing and this is why all the. The frameworks and systems that I have set up in my program are [00:22:00] designed to support us with this, but we have to, you heard me talk a little bit about embodied experience? That's one thing there's also the. Truly our, our vision of what's possible. So when we go out and set big goals and what have you.
And so I have a whole process that I take people through because we have to actually help our nervous system get used to this new thing. Right. We all will stay in our. Our comfort zone. What I like to call the uncomfortable comfort zone, because it's really not comfortable. It's not actually where we want to be, but it just is that the other side, even though that's what we want so bad, and we may even know exactly what it's going to take, there's just something that's stopping us.
Right. And that's the piece that requires the commitment and nervous system. Yeah. And like, to be able to expand your nervous system every single time you realize you're not going to die, that it's going to be okay. That it might feel hard. It might feel [00:23:00] messy, might feel scary, but that every little step of the way, next thing you know, I was talking about this with someone the other day, my in-house house coach of how grateful I am for the fact that I have faced my fears and followed my heart anyway, for so many years now, 20 years that I have so much content, Messed around and hit record and hit, publish all those many times, creating a bunch of different things that now it's so neat that I can go back and I don't care how messy it is, because guess what I can see, even for my self to witness holy cow, I have been preaching this and sending this message through like, I couldn't even.
I couldn't even have stopped if I tried, this is clear, clearly the message that is coming through me and that I am here to do, which has been so affirming. Right? It's like, this is coming through me. All I have to do is get out of my way and that's the same press report. [00:24:00] Yeah, get out of your own way and like, make it happen and realize you won't die.
And if you need support with that, right, you hire a Trina, you hire me and let's actually do this together because the worst thing is not taking action at all. Or letting that those unconscious or even conscious fears stop you dead in your tracks. Right?
[00:24:20] Trina: Absolutely. I mean, you could do this work on your own, but it will willows 20 years.
My 20 years. We can get you past the, you can learn from our fails and get there faster. And one of the things that I've learned with hiring my own coaches You probably felt the same way Willow is that we can't read our own labels from inside our jar.
[00:24:53] Willo: I love that saying. Yeah.
[00:24:54] Trina: We can think, we know what's holding us back, but our subconscious is saying, this is [00:25:00] what's holding you back, but they're not going to tell you the real thing that's holding them back because of that is behind the shield.
Yup.
[00:25:06] Willo: It's tangled up in all your stuff. Right.
[00:25:09] Trina: It's too scary to look at..
[00:25:12] Willo: Yeah. I always say we can't see the forest from the trees cause we're too close to it. It's usually very tangled. And so what I do in my, my, in our work together is we're really untangling these bits where all of a sudden light can start to shine through.
You can start to see. Oh, I can now see the strand clearly. Right. Which you couldn't see it before. And that, that reflection, I mean, I'm just somebody that's like that. And everyone that I hired to support me, I'm a huge fan of support. If I stand on any soap box it's that we all need support. Right. And that every person I now am just so unapologetic about the fact that.
I want people to hold my hand. I don't want to do this alone. And that's a lot of the work that I do with others is like they're prolific creators, absolutely brilliant tuned [00:26:00] in women that I get to work with, but there's no shame in wanting support and they too want to have somebody in it with them to give them that reflection and that guidance and hold their hand.
And heck yes, we all need that. So good,
[00:26:15] Trina: Absolutely absolutely Willow. This conversation has been spectacular. And I can't believe that we have so much more to talk about Willow. I have a feeling that you'll be coming back. .
[00:26:34] Willo: Yeah,
I would love to, I'm going again. We could talk all day. We've just barely scratched the surface then, with our collective 40 years doing this, that there's a lot of stuff that we could deep dive into.
So yeah, I I'd be happy to, I think this is so cool. I would love to hear from anyone who is listening. What has sparked for you, cause I think that's the beautiful thing about sharing ideas like this, and really being able to open up these [00:27:00] doorways. Right? I do the untangling. So some of the light shines through as messengers and all of you who are listening also have your own message coming through.
What are the messages that you have received? Might not even be something we directly said, right? You may have just had a download or an insight or something clicked all of a sudden. So. Would love to hear those from anyone who is listening. You're welcome to reach out to me or reach out to Trina, leave us a comment or leave a review, because that is what is going to help everyone else also be like, oh yes.
Let's keep sharing these with each other. Absolutely.
[00:27:33] Trina: And I love that you mentioned that. So listeners, if, if something really did resonate with you, leave a review and let us know what that was. So the others, as they're looking for insight, as they're looking for inspiration, as they're looking for some kind of support, they'll see your review and they'll know that this is where they need to come.[00:28:00]
[00:28:01] Willo: It's the work I love doing. I know you love it too. So it's, it's really, I've just, I love the quote that is, we're all, we're just here to walk each other home, and like Ram Dass and just how. Beautiful. That is, I really do believe it is so true that, again, coming back to how we are shifting out of the patriarchy, which is really also this, this hierarchy that we don't have to, we are stepping into such more of a collaborative co-creative vibe and nature of the way that we're living in this world that is more of the feminine way.
But it's also just even the healthy masculine as we're stepping into that, because really then through that balance, right of the masculine and feminine, it means that we can have the beautiful structure that loving holding container of support the court so that we can also be wild and free share our voice, share our light and know that we are safe within that container in [00:29:00] this like really sweet, loving, sacred union between the masculine and feminine with that within us, as well as literally within the ecosystem of the world.
[00:29:11] Trina: Oh, that's beautiful. Willow. Thank you so much for being my guest. Thank you so much for this glorious conversation. One of many I hope. Willow, let us know how we can find out more about.
[00:29:33] Willo: Absolutely. So one of the things that really connects to what we were talking about today, that I think you would all love.
If you are all looking for a starting point for unpacking some of this work and really looking at where you might be derailing yourself or where you. I have some of these limiting feelings and beliefs are what needs your attention? I have two resources for you. One [00:30:00] is I have an alignment quiz and this alignment quiz really helps you sort of see what is needing your attention right now.
Right now, this isn't like a personality quiz. That's going to give you, this is who you are forever. It's genuinely like right now, where are you derailed or what. Really needing your support and attention in order for you to break through to that next level. And so that's really insightful. You can, you can find that at willowlovesyou.com slash alignment quiz.
And it, or just Willow loves you.com. You can find it on all, all of my I'm at Willow loves you on everything. There's the alignment quiz. And then there's also, I've got a workshop that is called insourcing versus outsourcing. And this is what I call this is insourcing. In-powerment right. That when we learn to stop giving away our power, outsourcing our approval or permission our worth, what have you.
Right. And you're really [00:31:00] building that from within. This is when you then had become sovereign and in -powered, right. When you can truly, truly be in the, your own agency, which means that you will act on behalf of yourself, you know, how to set better boundaries, right? All of these pieces that you're not afraid of sharing your truth and sharing your voice, even in the face of disappointing another.
Right. This is what I want all women to feel out there, men and women, for sure. But Jen genuinely, this is the piece that when you learn to do this, I want, it's like, I'm, like I said earlier, I'm like not on my watch, man. I'm here to help. As many women rise up as possible. So insourcing versus outsourcing is the workshop.
If you guys want to find that and all of this, you can find that Willo loves you.com. If you can't find it, just reach out to me on Instagram or one of the other platforms I will. I loves you on everything.
[00:31:54] Trina: Awesome. And listeners, the links will be in the podcast notes. [00:32:00] Awesome. Willow again.
[00:32:03] Willo: Thank you.
Thank you, Trina, this is such a joy.
I loved it. I loved meeting you and I love these deep juicy conversations we have. So thank you for doing the amazing work you're doing in the world.
[00:32:15] Outro
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Next week. I'll be talking again with Lauren Hughes, serial entrepreneur, realtor, and investor, currently working on her fifth business. Hugh's capital. She started it last year and she's planning to grow it to be over 10 million within the next five to seven years. Lauren and I will be talking about radical. Self-acceptance what she thought was a weakness and how it became her superpower.
These are seven figure secrets people. It's going to be a fantastic episode. So tune in next week, you won't want to miss it.
[00:33:00] [00:34:00]